Living with an alcoholic or drug addict is almost too much to bear.  As the addiction progresses and takes over more and more of the person, we continue to relate to them as they used to be.  We see their potential, the possibilities and the good we know is there.  We want to believe them, they sound sincere, and often are, sincerely ... deluded, deceiving themselves.  We transfer our values onto them because we, as family members or friends, wouldn't lie or cheat or steal from people we love. It isn't difficult to lie to others when we are lying to ourselves.   Addiction is a family illness because the whole family is affected.  Each addict, in the course of their disease will profoundly negatively affect an average of seven to nine people.  Family and friends may want to find out how they have been influenced and what can be done to identify and deal with enabling behaviors that inadvertently allow the disease to progress, rather than the help that we had intended to provide.  Most support groups for family members and friends of addicts, such as Al-Anon or Nar-Anon are very helpful.  Gaining understanding will always help us make better choices for ourselves and our loved ones.